Never Let Me Go
by captainswanouat
Summary: After months of stolen nights together, Emma finds herself falling in love with Killian. But with her past experiences of saying I love you, she's afraid to be the one to say it first.


If someone had told Emma months ago how her life would soon be perfectly falling into place, that light at the end of the tunnel shining obnoxiously bright, she would have laughed at them; blatantly laughed. Prior to their adventure to Neverland, she wasn't sure there would be any light in her life again. Her son was gone, Neal was dead, and although she had her parents she felt completely and utterly alone. But then _he_ waltzed into her life with no warning and turned everything upside down; to her initial displeasure, he became a blessing disguised as a pirate with a fascination for leather.

She wasn't sure when it happened or what started it; maybe the stolen glances throughout the day, the quick quips back and forth, or his complete disregard for her personal space, but before she knew it their dynamic shifted while they were searching for Henry. She found herself less annoyed by his presence, allowing her heart to flutter when his hot breath danced across her neck, longing for him; for his touch. Neverland had a funny way of getting into your thoughts, pulling those deepest desires to the surface and on a whim one night she let herself be consumed by them, wanting an escape from the ever running thoughts in her mind. They laid together, tangled legs and touching chests, coming off a high from a night of passionate and animalistic love making that made her feel more than she had planned. She promised it was a onetime thing, never to happen again, before walking back to her cabin, waiting for the guilty feeling that never came.

Even she knew at the time it was lie.

What had started as an every other night rendezvous, late into the midnight hours and under the cover of the darkness, turned into a need, a desire to be with him; to feel him, to yield herself to him. She chastised herself the time it happened two nights in a row, ignoring the smug look from him as she gathered her clothes and quickly went back to her room, but she couldn't shake how he made her feel; he took care of her, paid special attention to her and made her stomach fill with butterflies with every touch, every kiss.

After a while she stopped leaving. She would stay in his embrace, listening to the sound of him breathing and memorizing the scars on his chest, ghosting her fingers over each, longing to know the stories behind them all. Some nights she slept, some nights she watched him sleep and some night he watched her. But even as the morning sun poured into the room she had no intention to leave his bed, finding comfort in his strong arm wrapped around her back. It began as simply a way for her to supply to her needs and erase her thoughts but soon blossomed into something more, something deeper; something _real._ Emma had lost track of how many times they came together in such an intimate way, but it was the night that he drew it out, took her slow and gave himself to her and she knew there was no going back from this; she was falling for him, and he for her.

Their secret nights took a halt the day she found Henry. She was so thankful, so happy, especially that Killian had been crucial in helping her steal Henry away from the Lost Boys. The entire way he put himself before her, risking his life to help her get her son back and if she hadn't believed it before, she knew now more than ever; she was never letting him go anytime soon.

And now, months later, they were safely home in Storybrooke, everything eventually simmering down and going back to as normal as her life could be. She was taken aback the first time Killian asked her to join him for dinner on his ship, teasingly asking if he was courting her and widened her eyes in surprise when he said yes. He and Henry had plotted everything down to the paper lanterns lining along the masts and the dinner catered straight from Granny's. They ended the night wrapped in each other's embrace, finding that familiar comfort that hadn't happened since Neverland and she knew in that exact moment she was starting to fall in love. It shocked even her; she wasn't the type to fall so hard and fast for someone. She knew what it felt like to be burned by love and it wasn't something she wanted to go through again. Yet she found herself doing what she swore she never would. She was letting go, but finally allowing herself to be happy.

The dinners soon became a weekly occurrence, alternating between his ship and the apartment, with Henry joining them on multiple occurrences, savoring the moments Henry and Killian shared while she silently watched. On the weekends, while Henry was with Regina, she spent most of her time with Killian aboard his ship, getting to know each other more, climbing each other's walls and spilling their deepest secrets. She came to find out all those little things about him; like that he was ticklish on the right side of his torso above his ribs and he like to softly sing to himself while working around his ship. She became absolutely entranced by him as he shuffled around the top deck, moving things around, pulling and tugging on ropes, dusting off the railing. The Jolly Roger was his baby and at times she actually felt a twinge of jealousy by how much he took care of her. But when night would cast down on them he showed her how much he cared about her as well; and that was all she needed.

But it was this night in particular that something felt different; a sensation lingered in the air. She could physically feel that everything was different in the way that they came together tonight; there was so much love silently passing between them that she felt a sort of spark leap through her bones when he collapsed against her, breathing her name passionately against her neck. Emma began to capture her breathing, eyeing him as he rolled off to the side of and scooped her tired body into his arms, cradling her tightly against him. She ran her fingers over his chest, brushing through the hair that was ever present there, staring past him at the wall.

All she wanted to tell him was that she loved him. Tell him she was falling madly in love with his stupid little quirks but surprisingly caring nature, his ability to be selfless for her and her son, and that she longed to stay wrapped in his embrace, making love to him every night. But she couldn't, not yet. Although he gave her hope to love again, to let herself fall again, she couldn't shake the memories from her head of what happened all the other times she said_ I love you_ so someone, to Neal. She initiated it both of the times it happened, and he had said it back, and each time he ended up leaving her, emotionally ripping her heart out and crushing it in his hands. The thought of it happening again, of feeling that heart clenching pain in her chest; it was enough for her to keep her mouth shut as she watched the way Killian's chest rose and fell in time with the waves rocking the Jolly Roger.

She eyed him carefully and her body shivered as his fingers ran softly through her hair, a tight lipped smile curling on his face. Her eyes met his, those eyes blue as the sea that you could easily get lost in if you looked too long, and her heart skipped. He was looking at her so differently than he had before, she could see it, feel it. And what happened next racked at her brain, her body jolting in happiness.

"Emma…," he said as his good hand cupped her cheek and tilted her head up, keeping her eyes locked with his

"Yeah?" she questioned softly, the dark of the night making her voice stay low, her subconscious telling her to stay quiet.

"Listen love, I know this," he gestured between the two of them, "has only been going on for a short time now, but gods above Emma I love you."

She was stunned to silence, her heart beat quickening as he stared at her with a longing gaze, willing her to say something; anything.

"You do?" she finally squeaked out, getting a soft chuckle from him.

"Aye lass, that I do. I think I have for a while. I knew from our first night together this would be a lot more than a few stolen nights. Although you were quite keen on reminding me how it would only happen once," he teased, his voice low in her ear. She let the smile tugging on her lips to cover her face, a laugh that sounded like a cry escaping her lips. This happiness, this feeling; **this was real**. "I love everything about you, darling. I love how your nose crinkles when you laugh, the way your cheeks flush red when I compliment you, your stubborn ways but loving nature, how you interact with your lad and the way you have completely filled the empty void in my heart." Emma's eyes were filling with tears with every admittance that fell effortlessly from his lips and by the end those same tears were slipping down her cheeks, realization hitting her with every word he said.

He loved her. He _actually _loved her. He didn't just say it because she said it first and he felt like he was _required_ to; no, he was in love with her just as much as she was in love with him. There was no denying it, his eyes and his actions said everything to her. She couldn't find a single hint of lying in his eyes, only love and admiration, his stare burning her skin.

"I love you too," Emma finally choked out, wrapping her arms tightly around his torso, wanting to never let go, never lose this moment, stay like this forever; it was perfect.

"You have no bloody clue how happy I am to hear that lass," he said while brushing his lips against the top of her head, running his hand down the outer side of her arm before it found hers, their fingers lacing together.

"Thank you Killian," she said breathlessly, letting a few tears slip down her face, her control of this influx of emotion failin miserably.

"For what?"

"Everything. For everything you've done. I didn't think I would ever be able to love someone again or open myself like this but I have; with you. And you've been so patient through everything, never pressuring me to do something or tell you something I didn't want to. Which, to be honest, was a wonderful surprise. So thank you for just being you, for being Killian Jones. I love you so much." Killian captured her lips quickly with his, tangling his fingers in her hair as their lips knowingly moved against one another's, tongues tangling gently, that familiar spark numbing her to the core as they did.

She didn't want to say anything and ruin this perfect moment, but deep down she knew what it was; she knew what the feeling was, the spark of hope that passed between them.

The magic and power of true love.

Something that would have scared her into closing herself off was now acting as a catalyst for hope in her life. That flame of hope, that flame of love, something that had always been there between them, was now fully ignited and she had no intention of putting it out soon.

Finally, everything she had wanted in life was finally there. She was in love; and he loved her back.

"Never let me go," she said quietly as she nuzzled into his neck, it coming out as a request although it slipped out with a questioning tone.

"Never lass. I wouldn't dream of it."


End file.
